Where’s My Savior?

Where’s my savior?
Someone come rescue me. I need some guidance, come set me free.
I can’t behold my life any worse. I can’t see past this hurt, my curse.
I hate my life! She screams. She yells to no one. I amount to completely nothing. I swear I’m done.
I can’t live this way anymore with no one to in my corner sent.
She curses God with great resentment.
I’m alive yet I feel so alone. People try but they just don’t know.
No one understands, and I’m tired of explaining.
Maybe I’m just not fit for His training.
I had happiness, but it probably was false.
Everything good in my life defrauding should be lost.
I don’t deserve anything, look at the life I’ve lived?
Look at me. I’m the thing that God could never forgive.
Where is my savior? No where in view.
So to her life she says a quick adieu.
As she lay there cold with her last breath she asks, “God why couldn’t you free me?”
He responds hurt to his heart “Because… in every good moment I gave you, you refused to see me.”

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I’m afraid the quarrel of my life and body has gone on too long. Has been drawn out by the taunts of hopefulness…
How daunting is its cries.
How powerful are mine
My cries are as overwhelming as the waves of a broken dam yet are hidden to the naked eye… As the gears of my heart, my mind, my emotion, my life force grinds slower with my remaining strength i hope for them not to rust.
I hope, i hope and wish only to my demise. My doom. For there is nothing anyone can do…
I’m afraid the quarrel of my life and my body has gone on too long. Too long…
But not nearly long enough.

Quarrel

Those who are gone suffere no more.
After they shut there eyes, the doors are closed.
The horrible is no more known, no more felt, no more shown–
Shown to others or themselves, it is no longer possible.
Grieve, because yes, this is normal and an inevitable sight for all.
But do not stay this way your whole life…for they do not grieve…do they?
Those who are gone, are not gone completely.
Discover them within yourself, Always living.
Forgive all who are like yourself- imperfect..human…mortal.
Live to live freely for those who go against this ….
Come constant pain, grief, constant worry ….
They know not of what to do, where to go
-for life is lost without its meaning
-meaning- being human; meaning being: forgiveness-moving on.
Move on from all and all shall continue -whether or not you do-
Those who continue to be; even through death, move on.
Dedicated to Alex Williams

Those- an original poem