Where’s My Savior?

Where’s my savior?
Someone come rescue me. I need some guidance, come set me free.
I can’t behold my life any worse. I can’t see past this hurt, my curse.
I hate my life! She screams. She yells to no one. I amount to completely nothing. I swear I’m done.
I can’t live this way anymore with no one to in my corner sent.
She curses God with great resentment.
I’m alive yet I feel so alone. People try but they just don’t know.
No one understands, and I’m tired of explaining.
Maybe I’m just not fit for His training.
I had happiness, but it probably was false.
Everything good in my life defrauding should be lost.
I don’t deserve anything, look at the life I’ve lived?
Look at me. I’m the thing that God could never forgive.
Where is my savior? No where in view.
So to her life she says a quick adieu.
As she lay there cold with her last breath she asks, “God why couldn’t you free me?”
He responds hurt to his heart “Because… in every good moment I gave you, you refused to see me.”

I’m afraid the quarrel of my life and body has gone on too long. Has been drawn out by the taunts of hopefulness…
How daunting is its cries.
How powerful are mine
My cries are as overwhelming as the waves of a broken dam yet are hidden to the naked eye… As the gears of my heart, my mind, my emotion, my life force grinds slower with my remaining strength i hope for them not to rust.
I hope, i hope and wish only to my demise. My doom. For there is nothing anyone can do…
I’m afraid the quarrel of my life and my body has gone on too long. Too long…
But not nearly long enough.

Quarrel

I feel an agitated sadness in my stomach forming into a depression i can feel coming up through my throat like vomit. Pouring out even from the empty cavity in my chest, the arid case of my body mentally and emotionally at the same time raging like a river the emotion of pain wanting to release its stream through my eyes yet i don’t let it. For what good would that do

I feel an agita…